from first to last...the peak is never passed...

I'm not sure how to feel about the Marathon. and in the interest of full disclosure, I'm a runner. and in the interest of further fuller disclosure, I am someone who HATES it when self appointed "moral authorities" loudly decry something and talk about how evil big money or nefarious cabals of bad (usually whitey) men conspire to rape the poor common folk for almighty filthy lucre.  and now that i've seen the requisite obligatory "FUCK the NYC marathon" posts start popping up in my facebook news feed, I am even more torn.

because, obviously, it should be said that I don't think any resources should be taken away from disaster recovery to work on the marathon. but I also don't have the information that this is going to happen. It may. It may not.  I'd like to think it won't but then again, I am not in possession of this information.  I'd like to think...and here's a nice  pre-fuckyouverymuch to the real good LIBs who are going to scream about how it's just big business fucking over the poor for money...that there is information behind the scenes that is going around that provides a valid reason for going on with the thing; information, discussions, number crunches, et al that might have aided in the decision.

because yes, it's a sad tragedy that people have lost their lives in this disaster.  and I have no qualifier for that...no "but" that's going to follow.  it's a tragedy.

and we need time to recover and rebuild.

we also, I think, need some fucking community and joy. and pride.

We need some time to scream and yell and celebrate that life does in fact go on and that (and my feelings about NYC in general are well documented) New Yorkers do pride themselves on their resilience.  and FOR THE RECORD, ONCE AGAIN I DON'T SUPPORT REMOVING RESOURCES FROM DISASTER RECOVERY SO DON'T, JUST DON'T. I think that having thousands of people show up to run the marathon, which in itself is a testament to the undeniable power of sheer human will--the greatest in us all, and gathering together for camaraderie and joy and love, probably couldn't hurt.

but then again, I don't know. because now it seems that there is so much ill-will toward it that maybe it negates the joy.  I don't know.

I really don't know.

I'm sad and angry and feel really powerless. I've driven past the lines of people...families...standing in line to fill up their gas cans. People with children.  I've heard the cries of anguish on television from devastated people.  and I do feel powerless.  and I guess I could do more...should do more...but don't really know what to do. and I'm sure a lot of folks that are railing against the NYC Marathon also feel powerless and not really knowing how to express that helplessness and so the NYC Marathon can become a defacto "dixie chicks" kinda thing to absorb everyone's rage and I understand that.

but I just don't really know what cancelling or having the marathon does to affect the outcome of this situation.  if we have it, will it take any longer to get power back up? if we don't have it, will it take less time to get power back up?

I don't know.

it feels like these conversations have happened.

but I don't know.

I do know that I could do more. Should do more. and will do more.

and I guess that's my thought today. to all of those who feel compelled to share links about banning the marathon, how about sharing links to donate money to the disaster relief instead. spend your time doing that.

instead of offering ridiculous advice to the runners "how about at the start of the race, half of the runners bring gas to those without it and the other half bring food and clothes"; how is THIS somehow productive; instead of re posting that tripe, how about YOU go bring gas to someone...food to someone...money to the cause.

because it's easy to bitch about the evil empire, harder to get off your ass and do something to help others...and that is the real question behind the question or what should be the real question behind the question...not "why is this evil marathon still going on", but rather "what can I do to help"

I don't know. (a familiar refrain at this point)

but I don't know.

I know I could and should and will do more.

but I don't know how not having a marathon will really change anything.

maybe just getting this marathon cancelled will give a feeling of power to folks who are feeling powerless...and if that's the case, then I'm all for cancelling.

because when something like this happens, something that reminds us we are mere insects in the grand scheme of the universe, sometimes it's enough just to assert some power of our own.

but then again...that is also the spirit of the marathon runner...

so I don't know.

I really really don't know.