wisdom of the organization

In honor of the most recent issue of Esquire, where they feature notables like Danny Devito and George H.W. Bush (with Barbara!) talking about stuff they’ve learned, I’ve decided to try to put together a list of stuff that I’ve learned.  Or also just stuff I think. Enjoy…or don’t…it doesn’t really matter in the end…

• William Goldman once wrote: “nobody knows anything”.  King’s X wrote “Everybody knows a little bit of something”.  King’s X was more right.
• If someone says “now I don’t care if you’re black, white, green orange or purple…” the very next thing he or she says will be horribly racist.
• Right now, you can purchase for $20K a system that will beam first run movies into your house at a cost of $500 per movie. Within 2 years, you’ll be able to do this on Netflix and that price will go down to $50…2 years after that, it’ll just be regular prices to see a first run movie in your house instead of going to the theatre.  A whole bunch of you will praise Jebus for that saying “finally I don’t have to deal with all the bullshit of going to the movies…the cost…the crowds…the stupid no good punks who won’t shut up” and for a while you’ll be totally happy. But, mark my words, first run movies beamed to homes will be the first nail in the coffin for our society as a whole.  The beauty of movies is catharsis…you can’t get catharsis at home alone….or even at home with twenty friends.  Catharsis MUST be societal.
• I used to love movies more than anything. Trying to get into the movie business was the second biggest heartbreak of my life (don’t ask). If I’d know it’d all end up on a fucking phone, I wouldn’t have bothered.
• The problem with our society is that we officially worship fame for its own right. This means, if you want an acting career, it makes more sense to film yourself eating dog shit and posting it online than to study acting.  The “Shit eater” guy will get more meetings than the guy with an MFA from Yale.
• The purpose of art is not to change the world. The purpose of art is to communicate an experience.  That it can sometimes change the world is a wondrous and happy accident!
• Heartbreak. True, agonizing heartbreak is the great liberator.
• Sarah Palin is not stupid.  While the left is busy making jokes and feeling smug, she’s building an EMPIRE.  
• Jessica Simpson is not stupid. While I am busy making jokes and feeling smug, she’s building an EMPIRE.
• Ageism is very much alive and well in the entertainment industry. Which confounds me because everyone under the age of 30 is a fucking moron.
• Wanna know how I spent my 20’s? A solid decade of flipping back and forth between nailing everything that walked and being pissed off because the world owed me.
• There is nothing more pathetic than a former lothario who has become fat and ugly. And THAT is how I spent my 30’s!
• There will be a new American civil war in our lifetime.  It will be over abortion.  It will start as a healthcare issue/debate, but as it builds momentum, it’ll just be about abortion.
• That my wife is much better looking than I am is a total bonus; people automatically assume I must be uber-charming and I don’t have to work as hard in social interactions.